By: Andrelette Dotson
Thank you heavenly father for another day to find and live life. Thank you for never leaving my side even when I thought you had.
Thank you for your undying love for me, the one that is so undeserving of. Thank you father God. Being paralyzed from a loss, can leave you right back where life stops and you left off. It’s like pushing the replay button, a button which I’ve been pushing for almost if not 4yrs and hoping that when I push play after rewinding it over and over it will land on that track where the life I once knew would be.
But it hasn’t happened.
It keeps putting me on a new track that I know nothing about or what is to be expected. I do know my life has to change.
That’s my struggle and reason I have been looking at my future life through filters of loss, fear and failures from my past. And this is what’s holding me back from truly moving forward. I need to realize that the past is exactly that, the past. This doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t try and make it where I should forget about the past cause it is pretty much impossible and while in the past it has taught me some valuable lessons. Still it’s hard to push the play button to things that are different. It is why I am stuck in this funk because of it and the particular task that lies ahead or just life itself that I don’t want to tackle that has me paralyzed just by the thought of moving forward alone. All this makes it so much harder to push play. People say to find something small that I can do in order to secure a “win.” I guess the win is taking that step towards living life. I am thankful that God blesses me day after day with new life.
“If you live based on ‘would’s, could’s, and should’s’, you won’t be moving forward in life. Regret is an ugly beast. You can’t go back and change the past, so why bother continuing to live there? If you live in the past, you will fail to see all of the amazing opportunities that are presenting themselves to you. If you dwell on “what was” you will never be able to envision “what could be.” Oftentimes we are our own worst enemies. When we make mistakes, or lose someone sometimes we carry them with us and end up staying chained to them. For me, making choices in life that propel me forward can be difficult. Why? Because change is a hard concept to grasp. Sometimes it can feel way better to relax in a comfort zone than it can to dive into the unknown and swim in waters that I’m not familiar with”. Not Pushing the play button means nothing can’t ever grow in that which is my comfort zone and the only way of moving forward in life is for me to get out of my own head and embrace my fears. Pushing the play button to move forward is a difficult and overwhelming place to be. To cope I find that writing gives a new look and feel on the loss.
A Word on Change
Change is inevitable…
change will create you
change is the unknown
coming out a better person
flexible and open-minded
will make you stronger
Change is inevitable….
not all changes lead to pleasant periods of life
do we ever get used to it
do we ever fully embrace it
overcoming the tough period
Change is inevitable…
get so caught up in the fight
put off actually dealing
denial is that powerful force
Change is inevitable…
positive change can create negative change can create
no one gets through life alone
Change is inevitable….
life as a river
rapids and that steady flow
cascades and silky smoothness and rugged
swirls and swells all part of the ride
Change is inevitable….
expected and unexpected
planned and unplanned
coming without warning
Change is inevitable….
a change in you
like a roller coaster ride
that journey of unknown experiences to behold
its floods of emotions
Change is inevitable….
embracing what doesn’t feel good
embracing that which does
grieve love that goes nowhere
channell love in other direction
Change is inevitable….
there’s only so much to control
created habits of new
integrated tools to treasure building of resilience
Change is inevitable…
creating bridges
turning chaos into calm
live life guided by values and vision
be ready to take first steps
explore changes impact
know that it will not remain the same
changes connected with moving from
Change is inevitable…
brings love, peace, and comfort
is turning the pages
close one chapter and open another
new beginnings and excitement to life
new choices for happiness and fulfillment
Change is inevitable…
re-evaluating life from different perspectives
without there’d be no improving the journey
is what we rely on
Change is inevitable ….
that one constant thing
life will change
cannot be feared
its the thing that takes us to freedom
to the place where blossoms grow
booming out of our own souls darkness
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